I can tuck mytits in my pants
Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
Randomize
