i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
Randomize
