No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
tequila makes me forget i have legs
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
Randomize
