State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
Randomize
