What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
... I threw up in the shower this morning
You were "I'm not drunk" drunk.
I was feeling sad so bedroom vodka seemed like the best solution at the time.
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
Randomize