I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
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