Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
Randomize
