mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be
Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
Randomize
