I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
you called me at 4 in the morning to tell me that your toaster burnt your english muffin, and that you "fuckin hated that thing."
i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
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