we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
Randomize
