You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
Convinced the bartender that I'm a congressman. Free Drinks. God bless America.
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
Randomize