u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
I was told I sang Taylor Swift's entire discography in between violent bursts of green vomit before falling asleep in the bath tub
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
Randomize
