Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
Randomize
