Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
I just farted a soft, gentle fart and it made me think of the eye puff glaucoma test at the eye dr. I hope that's not fart air they use for those. And yes, I'm texting you from the toilet and yes again, I'm high.
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
Randomize
