Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore.
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
Randomize
