plz talk dirty to me
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
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