Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
Randomize
