Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
Randomize
