Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
Randomize
