I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
Randomize
