I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
Randomize