OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
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