This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
Randomize
