She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
Randomize
