i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
Randomize
