i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
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