Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
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