thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
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