Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
I need to start journaling my drunk thoughts. Drunk me is fucking brilliant & sober me is missing out.
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
I think i got beer on your cat.
Randomize
