I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
Randomize