Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
The number of injuries I get impersonating Shakira while drunk is getting ridiculous. Sprained vagina, dude.
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
Randomize
