Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
Just woke up wearing a top hat and simpsons boxers. i also found more money in my wallet then what i had before going out, about $1000 more
The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
Randomize
