And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
Randomize