I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
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