If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
Randomize
