um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
Randomize
