Three words: puerto rican gang bang
ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
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