scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
Okay I know I said I was going to quit drinking for a while but apparently pumpkin pie flavored vodka is a thing and I will not rest until I have some.
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
Randomize
