thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
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