State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
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