she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
why does every cop we meet know your name?
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize