Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
If you were a real friend you would have told me you saw me in a porno despite how awkward of a convo it is. You act like I should always know when I'm being recorded.
I could have made money off of that but no you had to wait 2 years to drunkenly tell me this shit.
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
To be fair, this is a tequila-while-rewatching-Benedict-Cumberbatch-as-Van-Gogh idea, so I don't know if it will hold up tomorrow.
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
