its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
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