fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
So I just found out that my mom and dad arent married
What? They have three kids?
Yep. And apparently I have a half brother. Happy Birthday to me
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
Randomize
