i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
Randomize
