I got a call from 999 999 9999. I didn't answer it because I was too busy freaking out about the number.
It was probably Jesus.
I feel like he would have left a message.
I'm at a job interview and I smoked a little before I came. I thought it would make me less nervous. Boy was I wrong.
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
Randomize
