Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
I wish i was in the wii world.
This house was built for laser tag.
she pinky promised me she was 18
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight.
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
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