I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
Randomize
