yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
i'm unexpectedly in a limo, eating poutine. the driver just offered me coke. good idea?
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
Ladies don't puke and tell
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
I just drunkenly accidentally had sex with my boss
Did you at least ask for a raise?
No but I am now the owner of one of either his or his roomate's teeshirts... Maybe I can use it to negotiate?
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
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