It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
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