Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
im at the bar and i misjudged a fart...go home or ride the night out?Never mind, the bouncer made the decision for me...be home soon
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Randomize
