So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
Randomize
