haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
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