sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Randomize
