One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
Randomize
