Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
Randomize
