I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
Randomize
