It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
um i just went through the in-n-out drive thru and meant to ask for my cheeseburger animal style. turns out what i actually said was, can i get that cheeseburger doggy style? been a rough weekend.
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
she told me i tasted like america
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
My breasts were aching with rage.
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
