Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(502): View more from Kentucky

new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home

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(917): View more from New York City

Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it

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(859): View more from Kentucky

How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?

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(203): View more from Connecticut

I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.

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(412): View more from Pennsylvania

lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.

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(505): View more from New Mexico

At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right

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(773): View more from Illinois

Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly

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(816): View more from Missouri

Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.

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(905): View more from Ontario

This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!

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