I just passed one of the bars and saw my mom kissing another woman. This can't be good....right?
Knowing your life, probably not.
Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
im pretty sure this vending machine only exists when im drunk
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
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