There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
I proposed and she said yes man.
You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
