I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
FYI, your girlfriend is on her way to the ER. She tried to balance a bottle of jack on her chest. Smashed toes, blood all over patio. Call her, kinda funny though.
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
Randomize
