Grow some girl-balls and come out already
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
SITTING NEXT TO A CIRCUS PERFORMER AT PLANNED PARENTHOOD. THIS IS MY LIFE.
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
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