I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
Randomize
