He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
Randomize
