why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
Randomize
