It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
So it turns out there are pros and cons to having a broken wrist. Pro: I can give amazing blowjobs with my left hand. Con: I just had to open a packet of crisps with scissors.
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize
