So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
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