Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
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