you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
Remembering you have vodka in the freezer gives the same surge of happiness as finding 20 bucks in a coat pocket.
Randomize
